Merriel

A crepey hand clutches the open collar as she leans into the wind

A full thyroid was once inside here

Stitches, sure, she had stitches, more than she can count

Furrows of her neck reach north to the jawline camouflaged by jowls

Soft, tender skin slowly making its way down past wondering eyes, thinning lashes, a cataract, a widened nose, and spider veiny cheeks

The woman’s face reflects dimension, deliverance, decisiveness, dedication, but most of all,

Love

She loves with her whole heart

A heart that beats irregularly sometimes

A heart that is sensitive to chocolate, black tea, and loud noises

The heart she has fostered and fretted with for over sixty years when she got that first palpitation

It took many years to talk herself down

Breathe into her anxiety and let it know who’s boss

The tricks come with age

Tricks of mind over matter

Tricks of fashion sense to conceal a muffin top, back fat, or saddlebag

Tricks of distraction to hide self-deprivation, loneliness, second guessing

Did I offend? Could I do more? Will they like me? How can I please the peripheral people?

Are these normal thoughts? What have we here? A Golden Retriever?

Spending countless hours in one’s own company lends itself to thinking of others, or I should say, thinking of how others perceive you. Or does it? Is it just busy work to combat loneliness and not think about the jowls, the flab, the heartbeat or heartbreak?

Lengthen and lower

Lengthen and lower

Breathe out

Breathe in

Soothe your own soul

Soothe hers

Smile, pick up a phone, create a meal, rest, repeat

#womensfaces #anxiety #combatloneliness #agingwithdignity #mentalhealth #naturalaging #loveonesself