Yesterday I was like a meandering creek bed. When it rains I feel the blessing of filling with the nourishment of the water as it reaches a perfect flowing level——but then it exceeds that level and I am gushing and overflowing my banks and it is frightening and sometimes a bit destructive.
When there is no rain, the bed of the creek is dry and I long for the water and feel empty and desperate. I can feel myself cracking with the lack of nourishment.
When this image came to me I starting to think about what kind of water I would like to be—-at first I thought about a flowing river——it may flow fast or slow and churn up a bit now and then, but it doesn’t spill over the edges in an uncontainable passionate surge or dry up completely into a total void. Somehow, this image just didn’t seem like the real me.
Then it came to me. The same energy and passion that creates havoc in the creek bed would be beautifully expressed as ocean waves. It feels like the perfect image for me. The ocean wave is forceful, strong, and purposeful. It is part of the rhythm of this planet’s existence. The wave has two forces, one that pushes forward and gives the gifts of the ocean and one that pulls back and takes what is loose in its path. It is the balance, like the yin and yang. There is giving and there is taking, one supports the other. The ocean wave crashing upon the beach sand is physically and visibly powerful. The wave that I am imagining is no gentle lapping at the edge of a lake, this wave is filled with power, crashing in and sucking back.
As I sat in silence, enjoying the effect of this image in my mind and heart, I became aware of my breathing. I wanted to add a mantra of “give” and “take” to help settle my mind. As I did this I realized that my breath was telling me something important. As you breathe, the order of the words is not “give” and then “take”, it is actually “take” and then “give”. You must take in the air first before you can give the breath back from your lungs.
I believe that I have acknowledged the power of the giving but not the taking. I’m not saying that I don’t take things in order to live my life – I’m saying that I impose feelings of guilt, worthlessness and debt on myself in association with what I receive.
I am going to work to know that I am allowed, in the fullness of the abundance that is available, to take all that I need in perfect balance and wholeness so that I may give equally in that same wholeness. Both are perfection. Both are necessary.
I will be like the ocean wave, drawing power from the Source as I pull all that I need into my spirit so that I can then, with equal strength, give it back.
~by Patricia Rhees